Scouting

Seems like Clark always has fun nerdy stuff that I want to comment and expand upon. When he posted that he had found the OOTSSOERAAAP, it became my new "greatest thing ever!" for the day. I am surprised, I have to say, that Clark doesn’t list himself as earning that many badges. They’re all so loosely defined, I figure I qualify for about a dozen of them. Here’s how I see it:

The "talking science" badge.
Assumes the recipient conducts himself/herself in such a manner as to talk science whenever he/she gets the chance. Not easily fazed by looks of disinterest from friends or the act of "zoning out" by well-intentioned loved ones.

Considering that I have ruined dates in the past with discussions about water surface tension and the gory details of the Ebola virus, I'm a shoo-in for this one.

The "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, I've got a TV gig" badge.
In which the recipient plays a significant science performance role in TV. This badge is nullified if recipient is always shown wearing a lab coat.

I don’t necessarily have a regular gig, but I’ve been on TV a lot. I’ve wrestled a giant African pouched rat on live TV, and was wrangling an armadillo on Wednesday. Surely that should count?

The "arts and crafts" badge.
Because you can't have a bunch of badges without an arts and crafts badge. This one assumes the recipient has all manner of "craftiness" with a science geek twist.

I'm not well-versed in the girly arts, but I do make origami elephants…I make food chain paper chains…

The "I'm pretty confident around an open flame" badge.
Recipients have demonstrated proficiency around open flames in laboratory settings.

Self-explanatory. Looks like a Young Women's award, doesn't it?

The "destroyer of quackery" badge.
In which the recipient never ever backs down from an argument that pits sound science over quackery.

Do not even TRY to convince me that Intelligent Design is actually science. You won’t win.

The "sexing up science" badge.
In which the recipient has had experience with things such as selective breeding, crossing, mate selection, prokaryotic conjugation, fertility studies, STD related microbiology, and/or any other acceptable interpretation of the badge.

Please see my post titled "I'm not dead."

The "I've touched human internal organs with my own hands" badge.
In which the recipient is "hopefully" doing something that is somehow related to human health.

Human Biology 260, anyone? I think a full semester in the cadaver lab is more than adequate for this badge.

The "has frozen stuff just to see what happens" badge (LEVEL I)
In which the recipient has frozen something in the freezer for the sake of scientific curiosity.

Ah, the infamous Twinkie, Cupcake, and Peeps Failure Testing.

The "dodger of monkey shit" badge.
One of our self-explanatory badges.

Um, yeah.

The "inordinately fond of invertebrates" badge.
In which the recipient professes an arguably unhealthy affinity for things of this category.

It’s not for nothing that the kids at work call me "the bug lady."

The "I know what a tadpole is" badge.
In which the recipient knows what a tadpole is.

Check.

The "I'm a scientist who is fundamentally opposed to administrative duties" badge.
Presumably a badge with a consensus even stronger than that seen in the global warming arena.

Boy, if I never had to do personnel paperwork again, I would be very happy.