Dear Fly:

Dear Fly that is flying around my office:

Thank you for visiting. As you know, I am a big fan of insects in general.

However, I would deeply appreciate it if you would respect my personal space, and moreover, if you would allow me to get some work done. As you see, my office is roughly ten feet by ten feet square, giving us 100 square feet of room to fill up. It's another eight feet tall, giving you 800 cubic feet of flying space. Feel free to explore the area. Points of interest include:

• The fish tank
• The shelf of bug paraphernalia
• Rubbermaid tubs of stuff
• The vase of dried roses
• The candy dish

It is really not necessary for you to be within six inches of me at all times. I am flattered that you like my hair, now get out of it. I neither need nor enjoy your attempts to help me click the mouse buttons. I do not wish to hear secrets whispered in my ear.

Perhaps you would like to become better aquainted with one of my coworkers?

Sincerely,

Suzanne

One Word Answers

I've got to answer all these questions with one word and one word only. Here goes:

1. Where is your cell phone? Pocketed
2. Where is your significant other? Switzerland
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Dead
5. Your father? Engineer
6. Your favorite thing? Snuggling
7. Your dream last night? Peril
8. Your dream/goal? Love
9. The room you're in? Office
10. Your hobby? Origami
11. Your fear? Alone
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Home
13. Where were you last night? Gateway
14. What you're not? Fashionable
15. One of your wish-list items? Europe
16. Where you grew up? Utah
17. The last thing you did? Email
18. What are you wearing? Green
19. Your TV? Flat
20. Your pet? Fishes
21. Your computer? Movies
22. Your mood? Wistful
23. Missing someone? Yes
24. Your car? Johnny5
25. Something you're not wearing? Makeup
26. Favorite store? Barnesandnoble
27. Your summer? Over!
28. Love someone? Elliott
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Sunday

NYTimes.com

While we're perusing the New York Times, check this one out: From Mars! Wow!

Math skills

For years, I have maintained that I am not very good at math. I cannot do matrices without specific, detailed instructions for every single problem. I sometimes transpose digits. Geometry and trigonometry I can do. I think because there are pictures.

Anyway, I just found this interesting article on the New York Times website, about two main different types of math: approximation, and calculation. Approximation is what you use when you glance up and down the check-out lines at the store and decide which one to join. Calculation is how you figure out exact math.

This article reminded me a lot about some of the posts on Clark's blog, approximating how many balloons it will take to fill the room, etc.

Along with the article, they have a test you can try to see how good your approximating skills are. I got 100% on 25 tests, so I am a good guesser! I think a calculation test would yield far different results. (See: academic decathlon math test)

Fish

So, I have been making a tentative foray into the field of fish . . . owning. Fish-tankery. I've got this great bow-fronted glass fish tank in my office, 35 gallons, and it seems a shame to waste it. It's full of water, it's got gravel in the bottom, nice decorative chunk of wood in there. All ready to go. Bunch o' snails keeps the glass clean.

I can't get a fish to live in it.

Well, not exactly. I had a fish in there that I pulled out of a creek in Park City. I think he was a mosquito fish - the kind you put in your backyard pond to eat the mosquito larvae - and he lived in there for nearly a year, all on his own. Just him and the snails. During that time I think I cleaned the tank twice, but he was very happy and swam all over and came up to the top to get fed and everything.

Then I went on vacation to Colorado and he vanished. I think he may have died and been flushed by someone who won't own up to it, but the mystery lingers.

So anyway, after this happened I decided to get serious about this fish business. I cleaned the tank, vacuumed out all of the gunk, gave the filter some serious time and elbow grease, hauled around more 5-gallon buckets of water than I care to think about, and finally had a sparkly clean tank fit for vertebrates to live happy lives.

I went to PetCo, and bought some beautiful fantail goldfish. I like them a lot. So I got three of them and put them all in the tank. They swam around, very happy. All week, happy fish. I go home for the weekend, come back . . . dead fish.

Sigh.

So, cleaned the tank again. Replaced water. Let the water age so there wouldn't be chlorine. Bought a new light bulb for the light that had stopped working. Went to Wal-Mart, bought some wonderful little pearl scale goldfish, nice fat round ones that could barely move and were round like golf balls. Great fish. They swim around, all happy, I go home for the night, come back . . . dead fish.

Sigh.

But one of them lived! So I had one lonesome fish. I also had bought a ghost shrimp that accidentally got scooped up with the goldfish at the store. After he was put in the tank (and named Agadore), he was never seen again. I don't know; maybe he's still in there.

So I have one fat cute fish who seems pretty content with his lot in life. I went home for the weekend, come back . . . dead fish.

COME ON!! This is just crazy. How do fish even live at all? They're like the houseplants of the animal kingdom. (I can't keep houseplants alive either.)

So now I have a very nice empty fish tank. Well, not quite empty. When they scooped up my pearl scale goldfish and accidental shrimp, they also scooped up two tiny baby fish. They're each a little more than a quarter of an inch long. These two little fry are swimming around quite happily in their humongous empty tank, apparently healthy.

So I guess what I've learned from the experience is this: fish that you pay for will die the moment you walk out of the room. But free fish . . . free fish are happy to live for a long time.